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Just one example…. As I said, red herring for the express purpose of covering up your bigoted views and hatred for Jews. Therapy is definitely in your future. I only suggest it to those who truly are in need of it, hence my suggestion for your well being. The anti-Semitic, racist circus clown is back to perform for us. By all means though, proceed. We shall be entertained. You poor little abused Jew, how uniquely you suffer, no one has ever suffered like you.

Anyone who even dares to question how much you suffer, or what you may have done to bring on your suffering, is an unspeakably horrible person who should be beaten up, imprisoned, or eliminated. How cute that the little Adolph has a forum for his anti-Semitic and racist rants. Try to follow along Herr Pat. I guess it is true that you can lead a Nazi horse to water……etc, etc. Too much exposure with those radical, anti-Semitic views.

Better to stick with your KKK brothers. Stay at home, play out your fantasy with your sisters easy bake oven and plastic GI Joe action figures being marched to their fate. Your own private little Nazi reenactment. The only pity here is for a racist bigot who attempts to disguise his hatred behind claims that too much attention is paid to those he hates. You self-pitying white-hating Jew supremacists get downright hysterical when you think your nasty Zionist agenda is being exposed.

Mission accomplished. Jewish supremacists pretend they have the high moral ground as they endlessly promote open borders for Western countries. Of course the Jew lobbies knew all along what would result — the West would be destroyed, and the Jewish diaspora in Western countries would flee to Greater Israel — which will by then stretch from the Euphrates to the Nile — courtesy of the same wars Israel instigates. You just keep digging that hole deeper Herr Pat. We simply know far too much about you now.

Good grief comrade, do you need walked through the discussion word by word to assist in your comprehension??!! Tossing out one red herring after another will not repeat not keep anyone from recognizing the anti-Semitic, racist, KKK loving bigot that you clearly are. Herr Pat, slip on your Hitler Jugend decoder ring, salute the swastika pasted on your wall and come out of the closet by posting your nonsensical drivel on Facebook or Twitter.

OK, you win. Jews are the most victimized innocent virtuous wonderful people ever Chosen by God. Happy now?? According to Yosef, the lives of non-Jews in Israel are safeguarded by divinity, to prevent losses to Jews. That must be your second favorite word. Anyone reading this can easily see that you hired Israel trolls have no intention of acknowledging your war crimes, or even carrying on an discussion in good faith.

Unfortunately for you, your Terrorist Theocracy of Israel can no longer hide its crimes. But you keep trying anyway, shyster. Problem is that the larger social media sites have tagged you as persona non grata. Ok, achtung everyone. Herr Patrick desires your ear. Proceed Adolph. And that badge, honored by men wearing white hoods and tattooed swastikas is all yours to claim, uh……proudly as you cower in low profile social media sites while babbling incoherent nonsense.

Your idol, Herr Hitler would be so proud. Link me to the site of your choice, and if they dare let me simply comment there I will. As I recommended before, hire someone if you need assistance following along. Remain the little closet Nazi you are but for Petes sakes, get someone to walk you through the comprehension of the posts you read and those you incoherently post yourself.

You cowards are so accustomed to silencing us goyim by saying the magic words nazi antisemitic kkk goose-steeping fascist blahblahblah. Not surprised!!! Trying to keep you in the game. Israel created ISIS! Get some 3rd grader to aid in your comprehension.

Maybe someone fluent in German might help. Same-O, Same-O eh, little Patrick. Got you covered my comprehension challenged little Nazi. Can hardly wait for the next….. Knew I forgot something……the grade school cut and paste from the Nazi archives. Thanks for the reminder Herr Patrick. Meanwhile, Israel has lots of nuclear weapons, and Israel actually threatens to use them on Western countries as well as its Arab neighbors.

YES, you, shyster, already know this. Oy vey oy oy oy, we hated goyim are all responsible for all your problems. You are the very epitome of the innocent victim. How you suffer!! Poor little misunderstood Nazi, racist, KKK loving bigot. Tough being a Nazi narcissist, Ja? And add shyster to your top ten.

So pathetically predictable. We just need to get you a marquee. As we see, you trolls are trained to make asinine insinuations that criticizing your white-hating Israel lobby is equivalent to believing nonsense. Good grief, look at your idiotic, infantile posts that you continue to hide from larger social media. Those examples are perfect for your points of view.

Your combination of delusion and paranoia is beyond help. I have no doubt you sit in front of the mirror every morning and spew the same fabricated, anti-Semitic, KKK embracing ideology to an applause of one. So your argument is that if noone demonstrates to you that what you say is untrue, therefore it must be true. Your ignorance has no limit.

Do you need a demonstration that grabbing a live electrical wire is a really bad idea?? If so, be my guest. As we see, you Israel trolls are instructed to assume false identities, especially gentile-sounding identities.

Rambling, improperly punctuated phrase containing a variation of my user name that literally just trails off. You just come off looking juvenile. That is accurate of course but let others figure that out for themselves without your help. It screams for professional help. I see the juvenile reference has upset you terribly.

And Sideshow, there is no exchange. What you really need is Dr. Phil but I believe he may be booked. You must have a fairly limited vocabulary, as you appear to use the same words and phrases ad nauseum. Limited vocabulary, same words and phrases ie…. Yeah, I recognized a good deal of your response had been rephrased and reused.

I would like to see you cite your sources. Post copies of the comments and their original posters. You see, Steve. Still waiting for sources, Steve. Good grief, go back and read my last post. I know this because I have plagiarized nothing and the source does not exist. More incoherent jibberish. You have made false accusations against me in a vain attempt to distract from the fact that you have no argument.

Then you have provided no sources for any of your claims. Well, possibly your complete detachment from reality. Either contribute some substantive points to this discussion or move on Sideshow. Contribute to what, Steve? Contribute to what, you ask? How about you give me the bullet points. I have to go away for a few days and hit myself in the head with a hammer a couple of times so I can better relate to you.

So all you do is troll little boy, eh? Like this sincere poster Steve who called you out and the thousands of others. Your personality disorder is screaming! Your shaky sense of self is on FULL display! Never happened.

Bargain Bob is a complete stalker, troll boy with a screaming personality disorder! I did give him some of my thoughts about why he trolled and also recommended help for him. Ignorance is funny until it turns into vicious animal bites. And, the NAZIs were put down like the rabid dogs they were. Oh, puhleeze. No doubt you think Buchenwald was a relaxation salon. Slavery has been in existence since day two of the human race. You gotta get out more. An old Jewish saying, right?

What an interestingly bizarre reply. I figured that silly tripe went out with the drug addled hitler! Want to see something really scary? Well they sure as hell did when they created and ran the first few decades of the Soviet Union murdering millions of Christians decades before the National Socialists were elected into office in Germany.

Germany heard the screams of the Jewish victims from across her borders. He really is one. That is a Brit thing. Never heard an American use the word puff, or that spelling. Good call, these false flag trolls trick me often. I am relating an experience that he had in At that time, reeducation and indoctrination were part of the Chinese Prison Camp experience.

We have a couple of artifacts that he kept from his time there. First is a menu and guest list from a formal dinner in Nanking, before it was taken by the Communists. The second item is the blanket he had in the camps. He always said that those blankets were life for the prisoners. There were always more prisoners than blankets. If you did not have one, you froze to death. Interesting point. But my understanding is that those guys were mostly draftees taken during the Korean War.

My Father-in-Law was actually taken before the war, when the Communists overran Nanking. One British and twenty-three American soldiers voluntarily stayed behind in Korea. They got indoctrinated. It is why the military created Survival Evasion Resistance and Escape training and instituted the Code of Conduct that guides the actions of personnel when they become POWs.

I: I am an American, fighting in the forces which guard my country and our way of life. I am prepared to give my life in their defense. II: I will never surrender of my own free will. If in command, I will never surrender the members of my command while they still have the means to resist. I will make every effort to escape and aid others to escape. I will accept neither parole nor special favors from the enemy.

IV: If I become a prisoner of war, I will keep faith with my fellow prisoners. I will give no information or take part in any action which might be harmful to my comrades. If I am senior, I will take command. If not, I will obey the lawful orders of those appointed over me and will back them up in every way.

V: When questioned, should I become a prisoner of war, I am required to give name, rank, service number and date of birth. I will evade answering further questions to the utmost of my ability. I will make no oral or written statements disloyal to my country and its allies or harmful to their cause. VI: I will never forget that I am an American, fighting for freedom, responsible for my actions, and dedicated to the principles which made my country free. I will trust in my God and in the United States of America.

Sociologist Joseph Biderman did a study on communist coercive methods of management to identify the techniques so that we could develop a resistance strategy. ANd that is exactly what the left in this nation is trying to do in a more sublte way. Careful pls, off subject and target. The only issue is the value parents and students put on a K to K education. I hope you called the president and threatened him will pulling your child and filing suit. I would get together with other parents and do just that.

Make it very clear to the administrators that they had better grow a spine and make it clear to the blm terrorists that they will be expelled if they partake in this type of harassment, assault, and denying the other students, their right to feel safe, and that Their Freedoms are kept in tact. I did not, because my son asked me not to.

It is his feeling that much of the administration supports the activists, either out of fear or sympathy. Any complaint on my part could result in more specific and possibly violent reprisals against him. He wants to focus on his studies and avoid distractions. I personally hate the situation and circumstances. It is my instinct to defend my child, and I am not at all afraid to do so. Nevertheless, my son has learned an important lesson in all of this.

Safety and tell him how you feel and state you are afraid to give your name and Why! Also, as Safety Dir. But even if you did, I guarantee you, he would not be able to expose your son, and that info would be highly confidential.

Your son, and all of the white students should not have to live in fear. Or have Their rights abused. Good luck. Thank you for the advice and information. I will discuss this with my son, and see what we decide. In some ways, I am learning from him, because I would probably escalate the situation if I were in his shoes.

He is able to remain calm and focused through all of this, and not from a position of weakness or fear. We lived in Japan for much of his childhood, and he spent more than a decade totally immersed in Kendo and Aikido. But he really is about nonviolence and avoiding confrontation.

Also, he managed to keep his grades up during all of this. However, when we get funding calls from the school, my current response is to laugh and hang up the phone. For instacne, taell people you are voting for whatever, even pollsters, but vote for truimp whne it matter. He is a troll, but he is a false flag troll on the left. He is also from the UK. Not even American. Checkout how his timeline. Why do you think he is lying about being gay and nothing else?

Try to form a response that rises above emoting. I believe you are wrong. Hes a RWNJ. Which you obviously are too. Imho, Randists are total loons. What do you dislike about that essay? Please try to form an argument instead of emoting all over yourself again.

Asking what you disagree with in response to a post is a silly game? There really is no possibility of debate with the new child like left. You guys keep proving you are incapable of thought. Another troll. Got some power to the politicians rally or something along those lines going on? And its very humorous seeing a sexist, white supremacist troll, with no connection to Dartmouth whatsoever btw, calling someone named Horowitz, an anti-semite.

Why does your side run all of the most dangerous places in America? FYI, there is as much racism on the left and in minorities as there is on the right and with whites,…. If you took all your energy and passion, and applied it to your studies, you too would be successful, instead of an angry outcast child.

No wonder White-hating Jewish supremacists are so determined to keep us from seeing anything but their own point of view. Yeah what is with that? Keep it up. Especially the profanity, that always wins hearts and minds. Perhaps she could make you her National Spokesperson. Your talent should find its fullest scope. Look all of you.

He is a guy who tries to stir things up, but without the knowledge to back it up. He seems to be interested in reasoning, but unable to do so. The clue is in the user name. Gays trump Africanized Americans. Students need to file complaints, first a complaint for assault and harassment with the college, and then a discrimination complaint with the Department of Education when it does nothing.

This will be very useful in showing that campus disciplinary policies are biased and that the federal government itself is biased, which should be useful in future court cases. Their parents probably never even whacked them on the bum as children. Record their antics and have them prosecuted. Expose them all. Identifying the participants is the first, crucial step. The measure of some issues we in this nation care about are very troubling and saddening. The lives of animal seem to be more important than that of Blacks.

There do need to be some changes but these are the facts. More unarmed whites were killed than unarmed blacks. What were the outcomes of these killings legally? You man not add context to them, its much easier to hide what statistics mean when you ignore those. Whites make up Now if we break that down even further: 0.

Come on now, I know you know better than to read an article with statistics without digesting and analyzing. Blacks also commit more murders, rapes, robberies, assaults, etc. Are the white people just not being apprehended for those crimes also? I think if we freed more of these animals instead of taking care of them in cages we would get only modestly more murders in the black community.

A small price to pay for their freedom! Good grief, what pap. More blacks are killed because more blacks are involved in crime, percentage-wise. And the gap is enormous. OMFG, you are annoyingly stupid. You think bad experiences with coos are a black only experience??? You are a moron. Yet they are the oppressed , according to you, as well yet they are not disproportionately represented in prison. Care to explain that? Blacks commit more crimes because they are more likely to be raised in a single parent home, poor, and uneducated which, I can only guess, is why they take stupid risks like street corner drug dealing which is uniquely black.

In Chicago you got thousands wounded in black south side, right? Instead they are shot by blacks over drugs… Take ownership of that. You want to blame whites for your problems, get real, all Americans are handed free education, benefits if you are poor, the opportunity for higher education but here is the key, its up to the individual to do what they want with those opportunities.

No beheadings here, or slavery, or real oppression. Look at Africa, it is ruled like the ghettos are, right? You have a strong man and eternal war against their enemies, kind of like the bloods and crips, right? Hell, they still practice slavery, hell they sold us your ancestors. If blacks are so oppressed why are there more blacks in college today than in prison?

Why are blacks allowed to be cops, politicians, President, doctors, lawyers or whatever? You can be made over a small percentage of real racists, but you are not entitled to make shit up like we are all racists and you are oppressed. You left wing lunatics have lost your God damned minds and are making shit up.

Good grief, is this an instance of logic as taught in college these days? This difference is not evidence of racism at all, It is evidence of how high crime rates are among blacks, resulting in more black victims of black on black crime. This reality is statistically overwhelming.

It is laughable to see it misused as it was here. Yeah, and the blacks are murdered by other blacks. Blacks are about 6 times more likely to commit violent crimes that whites. Black crime apologists will twist this to say that crime is a byproduct of poverty, which of course is a byproduct of the fact that whitey holds them down. Statistics are clear that, regardless of race, having no father in the picture brings a whole slew of problems for kids — including increased incidence of poverty, and hence crime, drug use, lack of education, etc.

So rather than acknowledge that the choices being made by blacks TODAY not years ago are directly leading to the very things they are railing against, they scream at people trying to get some work done. See the FBI statistics for confirmation. This is a polite way of saying blacks have difficulty cutting it in the private sector for reasons that are obvious.

Blacks commit all crimes at 3 to 8 times their percentage of the population. This includes white collar crimes also. Facts have this tricky thing called context. I have seen your numbers before and what they lack is context. You cant use general population numbers to represent a specific population.

Thats a false comparison meant for political slant. I disagree. Considering blacks, according BLM, come into contact with cops way more than whites. Therefore, that would mean fewer interactions with cops and white people end with a higher death rate. Even with unarmed people dying it is still a very small number in proportion to police interactions with civilians on an annual basis. Do as police say and odds are you will be fine, I know this from experience.

No one is mute about actual black bodies being killed, unless it is those who are mute about the vast majority of those bodies NOT killed by police. In any case, Dartmouth students are not responsible for murders taking place far from their campus and you have no claim against them at all. As a minority, former student-athlete, Greek affiliated student of Dartmouth who has countless friends that are black, white, Asian, native, international etc. As you can see, I am the only one displaying such opinions on this page most likely because of the type of forum this is.

I doubt the sentiments that are expressed on this page would leave the mouths of those in a room full of minorities or a workplace where such people are present. Whatever the case may be you must understand that we are already coming from centuries of being disadvantaged, being segregated, being called every name in the boom, being lynched, being taunted, mocked, not allowed to read, forced to work on plantations and fields without any pay, separated from our families, whipped, all in the name of America while benefactors strove for exonomic gain and power.

While they used our free labor to build this nation in which we still feel the remnants of that oppression. When you do look back and digest all I have expressed I hope that you do it honestly, unbiased, and challenge your way of thinking. Maybe if you stopped being angry about things that never happened to you, like working a plantation, whippings, etc. I have two question for you? Have you? Then you waltz into this forum and act like treating other humans as mere objects in your quest to attain social justice is no big deal.

Guess what ALL human beings are valuable in and of themselves, not for how they fit into your plans for your protest and media attention-seeking. But for their own unique characters. And instead of conceding that not all the protesters behaved ethically, you defend them from criticism. Did you interview all the students who were verbally harassed? Although a good whipping from your parents once in a while might have helped you. You are not crazy, you are brainwashed. You owe them a debt that can never be repaid because otherwise you would be living in some African armpit.

They would most likely be ashamed of the asses that you and other black racists are making of yourselves. You should take some history and African American studies courses offered at Dartmouth, you may learn a thing or two. And Dartmouth is the only place I can go for American history? You are a joke. Why should she? Not those ones.

Their grandparents—in some cases now great-grandparents—knew what struggle and oppression really was and always carried themselves with dignity. They were much braver than these kids now. They must be spinning in their graves to see what some people have done with the better lives they risked, and in some cases suffered, death to give them. The massive destruction wrought by the Civil War on the South and the elimination of cotton as a predominantly US export due to the civil war eliminated any advantage incurred by slavery.

Your claim is based on nothing but supposition contradicted by facts. Fact is very few people owned slaves. Even fewer people owned a lot of slaves. Fact the economic impact of slaves was predominantly only supporting the cotton trade and southern gentry — neither of which survived the Civil War. State or cite a fact that supports your statement. FACTS arent something you can just claim exist. But now they are, and the Library is the perfect place to do it.

But the choice was made to be a disruption instead of grabbing a book. You should get a refund from Dartmouth. Slavery is still practiced in large parts of Africa and Asia. It is perhaps the oldest and vilest human practice. At one point in history, Dublin, Ireland was the largest slave trading port in the world.

No blacks there. Get on with your life. You will change no hearts and minds with your resentments and there is no administrative remedy for what ails you. Try prayer for a change. We all need more prayer. Why should it be any different for the more melanin-rch variants of ther pathogen? Except that the merest glance at behavior and crime statistics indicates that this type of campus-commie is distressingly prone to subhuman violence. It is high in their homeland, Africa. It is high in countries to which they migrate that were colonizers.

It is high in countries to which they migrate that were not colonizers. It is high in countries to which they migrate that were slavers. It is high in countries to which they migrate that were not slavers. It is high nearly everywhere they are found on this third rock from the sun. So you must be a helot? Held in captivity by other greeks some years ago?

Captured by Persians and sold maybe? Or perhaps enslaved by romans italians years ago? Or by ottomans muslims anytime within the last years. I am not sure how greeks experienced slavery in the USA though. And when they get to the real world they find that their naivete costs them. Everyone of all races faces challenges and difficult experiences in college but to keep viewing these experiences through the myopic lens of race can leave one caught in an alternate reality that does not exist.

None of the people targeted did those things, and none of the people protesting experienced them. Can you understand the side that innocent people are not going to feel guilty for something they did not do? Do you feel guilty for actions committed by members of your race? Of course not. Fantastic that you posted. As has been said, the left seeks different points of view, but then are shocked and outraged when they discover there is another point of view.

Talking down to people who utilize common sense as a means of survival and success while providing a rational for those who refuse to do such is very telling. Real tough guy with the media, the government and knock-kneed Academia standing behind you, ready to swat down the first badwhite to show defiance. Except that the fact is: blacks seek out whites to live and work among because they know they will be perfectly safe ….

As opposed to their own neighborhoods, where murder is a daily occurrence and sudden, violent death is always a diss away. There are no honest discussions in the workplace because HR would summarily fire any white person criticizing blacks. They will go straight to calling you a racist. But ignorant for damn sure. Excellent point.

Discuss among yourselves. Except what you describe does not exist. There is no oppression; systemic or individual, of black people in this country. If anything, blacks currently are the most pampered and spoiled race that has ever existed in this country; probably any country in recorded civilization.

Try working in a hospital…you see it all. The chances are that I, too would be supportive and sympathetic with the students who were being yelled at, etc. Those kind of tactics are egregious, they go too far, and will not help your cause, on the long run. Racist crying racism while being racist.

I love it when ignorant people, BLM, out themselves as hypocrites. Dear God, so you fight injustices by intimidating others and devaluing them just as you feel devalued? De-evolution being witnessed here, folks. In my days in college, this would never have happened. Because we would have decked these aholes if they had bothered us. They know whites have been wussified into feeling guilty and not fighting back.

As I have worked with blacks all these years, most of them have been great to be around and work with. Most of the jerks have been white males and females. I know that the overwhelming majority of blacks are of good character and good intentions. But they must put an end to these Al Sharpton blood suckers and these racist blacks and hustlers who are trying to divide us as Americans. They should start with repudiating Obama. Ah the people who cannot learn punish the people that can, want to, and will learn.

Another way to make as statement is to log the days that protestors like BLM interfered with your Dartmouth education. Then when your Dartmouth tuition bill comes, prorate it to remove the days where your education investments were disrupted. And refuse to pay for those lost days. This by no means was a peaceful demonstration. Why is there not a call for the protesters to be expelled from Dartmouth. This is nothing more than another step forward with the reverse racism that is embedded into our society.

Did the library workers attempt to stop these students? With disappointingly few exceptions, librarians are dogmatic liberals or perhaps more accurately, democrats. The ideological conformity is laughed off as a bit of an inside joke within the profession.

They also are not trained in crowd control, security or public safety. Its like none of them saw the video of the liquor store robbery beat down of the Asian clerk with all the hands up witnesses, 10 min before Gentle Mike was shot. It is strong arm robbery.

Still, the facts are facts and I like to keep it factual. Thanks for agreeing with me, even in a contradictory way. As a registered Democrat, that really bothered me. Of course, I registered as a Democrat after the Republican made that mistake over a decade ago. We need a centrist party.

Which is why we need to elect Trump. And there will be more jobs for Americans not illegals or foreign workers. Obozo is doubling down now and Clinton would triple down if elected. Except we do do for them, over and over. Remember Chuck D of Public Enemy?

He said, it takes a nation of millions to hold us down! No, dummy. It takes a nation of millions to prop your worthless arses UP. And are we ever sick to death of it. This is what happens when you indoctrinate students into Marxist conflict theory. Then again, maybe that was the intention all along. The sixties radicals became tenured professors. Anything and everything becomes an excuse to denounce the system.

America is well on its way to becoming another South Africa, with a mass of aggrieved, radicalized nonwhites convincing themselves than an ever-shrinking white minority population is the reason for all their problems. American liberal useful idiocy made third world decay an inevitability, and the barbarians responsible for it will brutalize us all the way down. Wait — you are saying apartheid in South Africa was a mass self-deception by blacks? I think you should drop out of critical theory and take some history classes.

Why not have one half prosperous, and one half less so, instead of making the entire country into a dump? Fantastic comments, five. Your first sentence tells us everything we need to know about your mentality. South Africa was a first world country for whom? Are you suggesting the effects of apartheid in South Africa disappeared in less than 30 years?

If blacks were capable of creating a first world society from scratch, they would have done so by now. They never have been, they never will be. All of the native blacks to South Africa got killed off by bantus trying to get closer to the benefits of being around whites. During apartheid the biggest problem was illegal immigration from places blacks lived worse.

They exploited our natural recourses too, but at least they took good care of us. They built schools, taught us their language and brought us British civilization. At least western capitalism has a human face; the Chinese are only out to exploit us. This is nothing short of pushing the boundaries of mob rule. Because latinos are smarter than blacks and willing to ethnically cleanse them as seen in Harlem and Compton.

One of those jobs Americans wont do. Blacks have really been played as useful idiots by latinos. Latinos have jumped on the civil rights wagon while doing very little. Even more so than before. I have had Hispanic ex boyfriends back when I believed in equality. I assume the mentally ill people responsible for this will be punished.

Instead we coddle them and support their literal insanity. I thought that this racial discontent was finished when the Messiah was inaugurated in ? Guess not. How is this any different from fascism? Your college is proving the political right in this country absolutely correct — event prescient.

Shame on everyone involved in this. Safe space — where art thou now? Pretty much the same cause as these people, to use the term loosely. If you gleaned that from my post, you should really approach the idea of some remedial reading comprehension classes. Your University allowed this. Your University sat idly by as this transgression occurred.

The only racism on the Dartmouth campus was exhibited by B. Utter failure on every level. I agree totally, in my case my child will never grace that campus. Preferential admission, expenses paid to chase their soft balls around a field, taking non-existent classes or having others take tests and write papers for them. Life is tough. Looks like the Terrible Twos are running the day care.

Playwright David Mamet had them pegged in his book back in What is Liberal Education? But here was my question: On leaving the university, what would these Young Stalinists do? These children have, in the main, never worked, learned to obey, command, construct, amend, or complete — to actually contribute to the society.

They have learned to be shrill, and that their indictment, on the economy, on sex, on race, on the environment, though based on no experience other than hearsay, must trump any discourse, let alone opposition. Everyone has smart phones, surely someone filmed this. Get it on YouTube — a video speaks a millions words. Well I know for a fact that certain places that are friendly to BLM are censoring the videos, reddit specifically. Cant explain away the obvious hypocrisy and outrageous bullshit so better hide it and not mention it i guess.

There were multiple eyewitnesses to the behavior reported in this article, whether it was caught on video or not. When most normal people are frightened, their first instinct is to freeze or take flight, not to whip out their cell phone and videotape the events.

Were you there? But you admit that if the reports are true, those who assaulted and bullied should be expelled and prosecuted? Why would the witnesses lie, however? Btw, pretty sure that Dartmouth has security recordings. And pretty sure other law abiding students have videos.

The students flowing into a library and shouting and disrupting is a violation of the university policies. All should be expelled. Youtube purges videos like that. I can say this. Raise your child to be an independent thinker, that looks at the facts and makes non-emotional judgement. From a historical perspective, I am really having a hard time seeing systemic racism on college campuses.

The fact that none of these campus movements can point to specific examples, but yet they keep getting more vocal and emboldened is troubling to me. Our list is getting shorter for my bright elementary student. We have a good 8 years before we start looking at universities—but I will be watching over the coming years and encouraging independent critical thought. The activists are malcontents. They want to imitate the civil rights heroes of old, but all the legal injustices are gone now.

They are screaming louder and louder about less and less. They live in a Golden Age, and are complaining about how yellow everything looks. The best comparison I heard was that they are like reenactors. Where middle aged white guys might reenact Civil War battles, these folks reenact s Civil Rights protests, except that the lynch mobs and police with fire hoses are long gone. But which side is angrily screaming racist remarks?

If the White students were part of the ongoing systemic racism, they would not be passively sitting there while being screamed at. Can you imagine how hard it is for a parent like me to tell his son to avoid areas of campus where the mobs are, to never look them in the eye or engage them in any way? That is the kind of shit that parents of Black children had to tell their kids in Birmingham and Selma in the 60s. I suppose it would be some twisted kind of payback, but we never had anything to do with any of that crap.

We were not here. Primitive savage apes. They all should be back in the Congo with bones through their noses. Digging in the mud for insects to eat. They are either using some powerful reverse psychology, or they are some very stupid people. This is a real test of Dartmouth.

Either they have these people arrested, or they forfeit any legitimacy as an institution. For all the horse hockey in this day and time about bullying and how awful that is, here we have it for real. These kids in the library studying are there doing what Dartmouth students are supposed to do and for which their parents pay thousands of dollars to enable.

Does anyone else see a similarity between this group and the German Brownshirts in the 20s and early 30s before the night of the long knifes? Under Title IX, the University must investigate and take action expulsion against those who engaged in this hate mob crime.

Students who were terrorized or otherwise assaulted should file a formal complaint. Everyone who participated in writing this disgusting and racist column needs to be immediately dismissed from the Dartmouth Review and possibly even expelled. So says the racist troll. Free speech is only for the thugs. Can you? Rather, it said that the punks violating the law were loud, violent, etc.

Guess the authors should have lied and described the kumba ya moments shared by the loud and violent punks and those quiet young men and women whose only crimes were attempts to study in the library on a Friday night. These people are in way over their heads at a place like Dartmouth, and desperately need to blame their predictable failure on anyone but themselves. Are the names of the people who protested and pushed students public?

If you are proud of what you are protesting, you will have no problem putting your name out. Future historians will look back on this Age of Political Correctness of which BLM is a part and shake their heads the way we look back on the Salem Witch Trials and shake our heads. Terroristic BLM protestors will only be viewed honestly only if they and their fellow travelers do not prevail because history is written by the victors.

One man advanced on the other and cornered him into his car. It was much too close for physical distancing and much too close for the anger that was displayed. Warren and I stayed a safe distance away but watched in horror as they behaved like anything but adults. Emotions quickly spike when stress levels are high. Each of the men in the parking lot felt the other had deliberately caused potential harm to him.

Once the insults and obscenities started to fly, it was pretty hard for them not to take it personally. Remind yourself that it is NOT about you! We all tend to personalize our experiences in life. Take that coworker who walks past your desk every morning and never seems to acknowledge you, smile, say hello, or start a conversation.

It is easy to assume this person is deliberately ignoring you and to take their affront personally. We will question why they say hello to one person and not to you and assume they are ignoring you deliberately. They just are thinking about something else. When you default to taking things personally, take a time-out and ask if there is possibly another explanation that has nothing to do with you.

Learn to bite your tongue. It is tempting to say what comes to mind in the heat of the situation, but it will cause tensions to rise rather than dissipate. As you can imagine, the two men arguing in the parking lot last week were not biting their tongue.

They were verbally attacking each other, which caused frustration on both sides. If I were coaching one of the men, I would have coached him not to respond verbally to the other. That is the exact definition of taking the high road. We want to lash back; we want to defend. Biting your tongue is an example of taking the high road. While it can be satisfying to snap back with a smart retort, it may be something you regret.

Respond vs. When we react, we get caught up in the emotions of the situation. When we respond, we have thought through what we are going to say, why we are going to say it, and how we will say it. By taking that pause, we can avoid a situation that causes regret. When the two men in the parking lot started yelling, one could choose to respond instead of reacting.

There are times when we do need to say things, but by choosing to wait, you can take the time to respond professionally and not emotionally. If you are going to have a conversation, give yourself a 24 hour wait time before saying what you want to say. Your emotions will be calmer; you will be more professional, you will be taking the high road.

Taking the high road, being graceful, professional, and classy, is not accidental. Take that high road. I can pretty much guarantee you will never regret taking the high road, and you will regret taking the low road. This is about respect.

And it is about disrespect. Workplace bullying simply cannot exist is a climate of respect. It only thrives in the poisonous air of a disrespectful culture. In the pre-pandemic world, workplace bullying was a global epidemic. It still is. It just looks a little different now. And you should smile more. Looks like you have gained a little weight working at home.

Just do what I tell you to do from now on. Fortunately, the client found it funny and of course, the assistant apologized. What we know is that stress and anxiety can bring out the worst in humans. However, the data shows that the most effective way to retain staff is to treat them with respect and dignity. None of us thought that what started in March would still be so formidable in August, but here we are.

Stress and worry abound about money and paying mortgage, rent, and medical bills, evictions, and businesses being in serious danger of closing. We have our kids trying to get an education, not to mention people getting sick every day. And it looks like this is our reality for a while, right? We have no idea what some people are wrestling with every day. No one is exempt. So, what is a target to do? Silence is not the answer. Having a manager or a peer who talks down to you can create a miserable workplace and relationship, even if they are virtual.

As an employee, you have options for dealing with such a situation, ranging from finding coping techniques to deal with the behaviors, confronting the bully directly, or documenting offensive behavior and taking your case to HR or your executive themselves.

The bottom line is that these issues can preoccupy us and stop us dead in our tracks in a paralysis of sorts. Bullying causes physical and emotional stress and creates an extremely toxic work environment. Full Bio. In every workplace, you will have difficult coworkers.

Dealing with difficult coworkers, bosses, customers, clients, and friends is a skill worth perfecting. Dealing with difficult situations at work is challenging, yet rewarding. You also make your workplace a better environment for all employees when you address the problems that a difficult coworker is causing for the team. You can increase your skill in dealing with the difficult people who surround you in your work world. These tips will help you. Difficult people are found in every single workplace.

Difficult people come in every variety that you can imagine. Dealing with difficult people is easier when the person is just generally obnoxious or when the behavior affects more than one person. You do if you regularly feel intimidated, dread to work anywhere near a particular coworker, and feel dismayed and upset about having to go to work.

If you have felt psychologically or physically threatened at work, you work with a bully. Do you have a coworker who talks over you at meetings, who regularly criticizes your performance, and steals credit for your work? Some coworkers wallow in their negativity. The company is always going to fail, and its customers are worthless and demanding.

You know these negative coworkers—every organization has a few. You can best deal with these negative coworkers by avoiding their presence at work. Whether the confrontation is about sharing credit for work accomplished, coworker habits and approaches that are irritating or sloppy, intentional missed customer delivery deadlines, or about keeping a project on track, sometimes you need to confront your coworker. These tips will help you feel more comfortable when you need to confront a coworker.

You can ruin both your job and your career by the relationships you develop with your coworkers at work. Learn more about seven effective work relationship musts. Have you encountered any of these examples of needing to deal with difficult people at work? But, for most people, holding a difficult conversation about a sensitive topic is challenging at work. Have you worked with a coworker who had annoying habits such as loud gum chewing or bringing personal issues to the office every day?

How about a coworker who had personal hygiene problems or exuded the smell of alcohol and coffee at work? You know what a problem and productivity downer these kinds of behavioral and personal issues can present in the workplace. If you want to attain some happiness at work, you must address these issues. Every employee has bosses who provide direction throughout their working careers. Hopefully, most of your bosses are competent, kind, and worthy of your trust and respect. They play such a significant role with the employees who report to them.

Too often, employees have difficult bosses who have a negative impact on their desire to engage and contribute in the workplace. You can achieve job security if you are viewed as a superstar by your organization.

These alliances are also crucial for dealing with difficult or destructive coworker behavior in the workplace. They are also crucial when you want your ideas to be implemented. Gossip is rampant in most workplaces. It often seems that people have nothing better to do than gossip about each other. They frequently take a partially true fact and blow it all out of proportion to its importance or intended meaning.

Dealing with difficult situations involving gossip occurs in every workplace. Find out how dealing with difficult gossip is a must-do and a can-do. It is hard to put difficult colleagues into a one-size-fits-all box. After all, they come in so many shapes and sizes. No workplace is without them. What about the passive-aggressive who feeds on bullying others?

How about the know-it-all corporate climber who walks all over people in her 5-inch stilettos? Or the two-faced backstabber who delights in betraying confidences? Difficult colleagues create stressful environments and unpleasant working conditions. In fact, work-related problems significantly outpaced other leading causes of stress such as health concerns or family responsibilities.

Not all stress at work can be blamed on difficult colleagues, but our workplace is a perfect breeding ground for people who push our buttons. A gossip who might not ordinarily get on our nerves becomes toxic when we are forced to work with them on a daily basis. Unfortunately for entrepreneurs, business owners, and leaders, difficult employees are not always bad employees. They may be highly skilled or very talented. They may add to the bottom line of your company, but they can also create stress for your other team members which reduces overall productivity.

The way your team deals with difficult colleagues will have a major impact on their careers and their well-being. Here are 5 strategies to deal with difficult colleagues:. Keep friends close, enemies even closer A difficult colleague may not be your enemy, but the more you know about them, the better you can understand them. I will admit that, as an FBI agent, there are people out there who considered me to be the difficult colleague.

I sometimes regret that I left casualties in the squad room, but I also know I had reasons for taking my stance. If someone had taken the time to ask me about my behavior, I would have pointed out that I am an overachiever. As such, I put so much pressure on myself to excel that, at times, I had no time for the pettiness of common courtesy! The stress I put on myself to run undercover operations and develop human intelligence humint sources caught up with me; I ended up incredibly sick for several months.

TIP: Take the time to understand that your workplace antagonist is an imperfect person, just like you. Know what pushes your buttons No one escapes childhood without a few bruises and scrapes. We all have flash points that stem from our upbringing, family life, and relationships. Anger or frustration can be triggered when we least expect it.

We react to a situation or individual rather than choose our response. Our buttons are our responsibility to uncover. Instead, take a look at why you react to certain people or situations in a negative way. Mental toughness is managing your emotions, thoughts, and behavior in ways that will set you up for success.

You need to be brave enough to look at yourself with honesty and compassion. This might mean going back to childhood hurts to discover the patterns of thinking that are sabotaging you now. Get a handle on what those buttons are and who, or what, pushes them.

Rather than seeing difficult colleagues as a burden, they could actually be your ticket to dramatic professional growth. By pushing one of your buttons, you can be made to look oversensitive, weak, or gullible.

TIP: Be responsive, not reactive when someone pushes your buttons. A knee-jerk reaction is never a good choice. Keep a lid on anger Anger flares up when we feel that we, or another co-worker, have been unjustly treated by the difficult colleague. There are several reasons anger is not a good reaction:.

Avoid anger in the workplace. If you are embroiled in a constant conflict at work, you risk being seen as unable to handle the situation like a seasoned professional. Worse yet, you may get labeled as being a difficult colleague as well. Instead, allow yourself to observe what is happening without getting caught up in it meditation can help you with this. Here are some suggestions:. Bottom line: get out of the situation as quick as you can so you can decide if this is the hill you want to die on.

If not, wait until your emotions are under control and then choose your response rather than reacting with negativity. Conflict avoidance is not always a great idea, either. Staying away from disagreements and conflict creates stress as well. Think about what the ideal outcome would be for you. What would you hope to accomplish from a conversation with your colleague? Talk the situation out with other co-workers to gauge their assessment of it. They might be able to offer constructive advice and observations.

Point out what you both agree upon at the beginning of the conversation. In a corporate environment that is known for tactics and playing games, develop a reputation of someone who is direct, personal and genuine. Nip this in the bud and set the stage for a more positive working relationship. You avoid them at team events.

You stifle eye rolls every time they speak up in meetings. You dread collaborating with them, and you may have even butted heads with them once or twice. Or more? You need to nip this in the bud and set the stage for a more positive working relationship. There are a lot of perfectly reasonable explanations for why some people just grate on you more than others. Often, work conflict has nothing to do with whether both parties like or respect each other. You probably have a specific colleague in mind right now — a person that you just struggle to be around.

But, it can be tough to figure out whether you should address the dynamic or just let sleeping dogs lie. A growing conflict not only leads to a tense work environment, but it can also cause us to self-sabotage. Bring the issue directly to your manager or HR representative who will help you take the appropriate steps to make the workplace safe for you and resolve the problem.

There are a few tips and best practices you can use to forge a healthier working relationship — and kick that tension and resentment to the curb. But, while counterintuitive, turning the magnifying glass on yourself is a good place to start when attempting to improve that dynamic and smooth over a strained working relationship. It takes two to tango, and people need to understand how their approach comes across, how it impacts others, and how those impacts may be received positively or negatively.

With that said, here are a few things you can try to boost your own emotional intelligence:. Have you tried asking that notoriously difficult person questions? This not only gives you insight into their values, goals, challenges, and approach, but it also demonstrates a level of investment and engagement in the people you work with — which even the most challenging of colleagues will appreciate.

This involves:. The more people feel heard, the more those walls start to break down. Popular assessments include:. If these assessments are a no-go, rest assured that you can still learn a lot through some informal one-on-one conversations with your colleagues. Approach this exchange with a more team-oriented mindset. That collaborative approach is bound to lead to better outcomes than a big game of finger-pointing would.

But, a little bit of flattery can go a long way. Then, take a deep breath and actually offer them that piece of praise. Even in the best of times, dealing with relationship conflict and frustrating communications can feel overwhelming. And we are certainly not in the best of times. With most couples and families now confined under the same roof, discord and tensions can surface far more easily. Opportunities to take breaks from one another have evaporated.

Yes, we can retreat to separate laptops, phones, or televisions, but the lack of social diversity may create greater tension. For many people, this may feel like being in a pressure cooker with the heat always on. If a crisis creates opportunity, then perhaps this is the time to learn some critically needed communication skills.

With nowhere to retreat or hide, the opportunity for relationship growth may now be an urgent necessity. Why is it so important to be right? Our instinct to defend ourselves and be right literally destroys the fabric of the relationship.

Think of it this way: If I need to be right, then I need to vanquish you and make you wrong. Now how is that going to work out? It assures discord. We turn our relationship into a debate, and no one is listening. This causes the withering of affection, love, and respect. The need to win an argument assures that no one is actively listening.

Our words are like ping-pong balls being whacked back and forth. Feeling loved, cared for, and validated is nullified by the drive to be right. The need to be right, to win at all costs, is antithetical to enjoying empathic and compassionate relationships. So how can we break through this mindless impasse? I can recall, early in my career as a therapist, finding myself feeling frustrated by my inability to assist a couple with whom I was working.

They were mired in a ceaseless argument, venting at each other with neither person listening to the other. I was searching for a way to help them slow down and listen to each other, to get past their gridlock. I reflected for a moment on how I might approach their impasse differently.

This was such a moment. I was asking John to go against the grain and act counterintuitively by neither defending himself nor trying to score a point. As he shared this with Barbara, she barely paused, as she prepared to go right back into the argument. I raised my hand gently and suggested that she reflect on how it felt to be at least partially validated.

Their energy began to coalesce. Even if you disagree with the vast majority of what you are hearing from the other person, you can ordinarily find some small content that you can acknowledge. We typically marginalize if not ignore this part, because our automatic default is grounded in the right-vs-wrong battle. Our thoughts seek to refute rather than confirm. If we break free from the insane goal of winning an argument and try to find something in what the other person is saying that we might concur with, the results can be astonishing.

Once your partner feels heard and moreover affirmed, he or she may be in a far better position to take in what you have to say. Timing is essential here. Instead, affirm something, pause, and let the conciliatory spirit fill the space that would otherwise be occupied by the noisy back-and-forth of argumentation. That shift now becomes fertile ground for a meaningful transition and constructive exchange.

If you rush to reframe or assert your own position, your affirmation appears disingenuous. First, you need to validate, then pause, enabling you to have the opportunity to share what you want to with a much greater chance that your words will be heard. Affirming the 5 percent in no way means that you have to abandon your position regarding the 95 percent with which you disagree.

You have simply laid the groundwork for the other to take in what you have to say. This process permits us to halt in being reactive and to move toward being responsive. The success of this approach allows both parties to behave with compassion and empathy, cooperating rather than competing. What you want the other person to hear is very important. But you need to set the stage so they can take it in. From there, healthy communication might emerge.

We must interrupt both the compulsion to be right and our default mode of being reactive. Our reactions—by definition—are not well considered or purposeful. Arguments are comprised of facts. Feelings, by definition, are subjective and beyond the scale of right vs. Developing these tools allows our relationships to prosper.

Just as relationship skills and emotional intelligence ought to be core educational requirements, communication mastery should be the bedrock of any life that aspires to happiness, success, and fulfillment. Mel Schwartz, L. His website is Melschwartz. LinkedIn Learning Instructor Chris Croft explains how to best work with a colleague who loves to procrastinate.

Working with the procrastinator can be frustrating, as they generally are nice people. But their constant delays or indecision hold back projects. They are:. Another option? Tell the procrastinator they indeed procrastinate. Your company could have a record quarter, and they point out how this will just mean higher forecasts. Sure, they are negative and that can be irritating, but does that really have to affect you?

Or, if you truly find it too irritating to be around, you can avoid them. One thing you can do is bring their negativity to their attention. Say they are trashing a new initiative by the company, for example. Ask them — thanks for the negatives, but do you see any benefits to it? Or, inspire them to think of solutions, instead of complaints. Tell them the objective and have them create a plan to achieve it.

This requires more productive thinking and gets them in a more can-do frame of mind. LinkedIn Learning Instructor Chris Croft explains how to best work with an overly aggressive colleague. These people can be exhausting — they want things their way, on their timeline and seemingly nothing is ever good enough. Unfortunately, these people tend to gravitate to positions of power as well, which only exasperates the problem. Croft gave tips for each. The following three tips are good if you have to deal with an aggressive person.

But, what if you want to change an aggressive person? Whenever you are dealing with someone difficult at work, there are two options: either you learn to live with them or you try to change them. Learning to live with them is the easier route most of the time.

Occasionally though, if it is directly affecting your work, you should make an effort to change them. While it requires more work upfront, if you are successful, you ensure this problem no longer persists. I had supported her through her transition when she had joined a prestigious global financial services firm several months prior. Kacie told me that it was becoming painfully clear that her inability to get along with Marta was going to impede her success, and possibly derail her career at the company.

They had different styles, and Marta rubbed her the wrong way. Over a series of conversations, Kacie and I worked through the situation. In assessing the relationship more honestly, Kacie came to realize that she had been failing to reach out to Marta. She had not made her new colleague feel like her input and perspectives were valuable, had been leaving her and her team off communications, and had more or less been trying to avoid her.

Kacie developed a handful of useful strategies for working better with Marta. Reflect on the cause of tension and how you are responding to it. The first step is both acceptance and reflection. You can and should learn from almost everyone you meet, and the responsibility for making that happen lies with you even if the relationship is not an easy one.

Take an honest look at what is causing the tension and what role you play in creating it. Few people get out of bed in the morning with the goal of making your life miserable. Ask yourself: Why is this person acting this way? What might be motivating them? How do they see me? What might they want and need from me? Kacie began to think differently about Marta as she came to appreciate that her colleague had goals and motivations as valid as her own and that their goals were not inherently in conflict.

Become a problem solver rather than a critic or competitor. Rather than trying to work through or around the other person, engage them directly. What do you think? Do you have any ideas for how we can work better together? Enhance your awareness of your interpersonal style.

Over lunch, Marta and Kacie discovered that they had both completed the Myers-Briggs earlier in their careers, so they shared their profiles. Kacie is both a clear introvert and a very strong sensing type: she prefers to have time to work through issues alone and quietly, and to draw conclusions from a broad base of data. Marta, on the other hand, is an extrovert and a strong intuitive type, comfortable reacting immediately, focusing on the big picture, and solving problems by talking them through with others.

Given these differences in style and preference, Kacie and Marta were bound to find interacting with each other uncomfortable. But once they identified their differences, they realized that their styles could be quite complementary if they adapted and accommodated their approaches.

Ask for help. Am I missing anything or failing to connect with anyone I really should? Each quarter they bring their whole teams together to assess progress and seek opportunities to learn and improve their processes. Mark Nevins is the president of Nevins Consulting and advises and consults senior executives and their teams on leadership, change, and organization effectiveness.

Running into people that are tough to get along with is inevitable, both professionally and personally. There are four ways to make dealing with them easier, says Petris Lapis. Often cunningly disguised as reasonable people until they join your family, your workplace, your circle of friends, your sporting team or become a client and then—and only then—how difficult they are really shines through.

So the best thing you can do is have a strategy for dealing with them. Fortunately there are four easy steps for dealing with difficult people. Step 1: Create rapport Take the steps you can to create an environment of trust, safety and comfort. This helps the difficult person to feel safe resolving the issue with you.

Step 2: Listen, listen and listen again Sometimes all a person really needs is to be heard. The best thing you can do is to listen—really listen. Not the type of listening you do where you are already working out in your head all the arguments why the difficult person is wrong.

I mean the type of listening where you focus all your attention on the person who is speaking and really try to work out what is driving this behaviour and how it could be solved. Everyone has a reason for their difficult behaviour and it is often fear or insecurity. This is important because what would be a problem for the difficult person may not be a problem for you and vice versa. For example, I am habitually early for meetings but a colleague of mine is habitually late.

Once you have an understanding of both the problem and why it is a problem for the other person, you have the starting point to find a solution. Sometimes being heard and acknowledged is all it takes for a person to stop being angry or aggressive. If more is required, you can then ask the difficult person what, if anything, would solve the problem. This does two things:. Puts the responsibility squarely back on them Implies there is a solution to the problem Step 3: Stay in adult communication mode There are several different modes in which we can communicate with other people being child, adult and parent.

When referring to modes of communication:. This is when issues can be discussed and solutions found without judgement or hurt feelings. If you do everything you can to maintain the adult mode of communication, the other person will eventually communicate with you in the same way.

Think of a time when you have been upset and you spoke with someone who was rational. Do you remember how quickly you calmed down to talk about the problem? It works really well. Step 4: Find the solution The last part involves finding a way forward based on your understanding of the problem and potential solution for the difficult person.

The more positive framing you can use in your language, the more successful this part will be. She has consulted for government and industry and published several books and hundreds of papers. She has studied commerce, law, coaching, NLP and. Not everyone is lucky enough to work with a superstar CEO. When a direct report is being difficult, there are a number of strategies you can employ, says Michelle Gibbings.

A bad boss can make your working day feel like hell. At some stage in your career you will encounter someone who is less than ideal to work for. Dealing with a bad boss is not about getting even, but getting savvy about how you manage it.

For example, if they are stressed due to work pressures then find out if there are ways you can help them with their workload. This is a great opportunity to build a good relationship with your boss as they will see you as a person who helps them in times of need.

It can also help to talk to them about the impact their behaviour is having on you. This is a conversation that needs to be managed thoughtfully. Be prepared for it and pick the best time to have the conversation. In this situation, think about the benefits you are gaining from the job in terms of experience and determine if it is worth sticking it out for a bit longer. Reflecting on my career, there are times when I worked for people who were hard to work for, but the experience and benefits gained in the role made it worthwhile.

This will help set you up for your next job which may be inside or outside the organisation , and help ensure you maintain a strong and healthy sense of self. Also, a strong internal support network can help to counter-balance the challenges of working for someone who is difficult. This means you need to:. Stay true to who you are. Back yourself. Always take the higher ground. And remember, corporate karma often wins in the end.

In , not long after Soma Ghosh, now 36, started a new job as a careers advisor, she began to dread every day at the office. The constant bullying soon took a toll. Ghosh developed anxiety and depression, but there were also effects on her physical health, including trouble sleeping; recurring cold and flu-like symptoms; the appearance of a lump in her armpit; and pains in her fingers, hands and shoulders caused by the pressure to work overlong hours without adequate breaks. Researchers have long known about the adverse mental health effects of workplace bullying.

But only recently — thanks to studies utilising the comprehensive public health records maintained in Scandinavian countries — have they begun to uncover findings that suggest that this bullying could have serious effects on physical health, too. For a paper, a group led by Tianwei Xu of the University of Copenhagen analysed data from nearly 80, male and female employees in Sweden and Denmark. A clear pattern emerged from the data of both the men and women.

This remained true even after the researchers controlled for potentially confounding factors, such as body-mass index and smoking status. They also discovered a dose-response relationship: the more frequently participants said they were bullied, the greater their risk of developing cardiac problems. Research finds the incidence of cardiac-related illnesses drastically increases among those who have experience bullying Credit: Getty Images.

However, Xu and her colleagues believe there are plausible mechanisms that could explain how bullying leads directly to physical illness. These include chronically rising levels of stress hormones, and bullying victims adopting harmful coping behaviours, such as eating to excess or drinking too much alcohol. The researchers plan to explore these possibilities in future work.

Employees who witness bullying of other colleagues may experience adverse health effects, too. He also encourages employees report bullying in any way possible — through official channels, a line manager or another trusted colleague. She urges anyone who believes they are experiencing mental or physical health as a result of bullying to speak to someone, such as a GP or counsellor. His next book, about personality change, will be published in Some of the hardest employees to manage are people who are consistently oppositional.

They might actively debate or ignore feedback, refuse to follow instructions they disagree with or create a constant stream of negative comments about new initiatives. Most often, these behaviors are meant to make the employee look strong and mask a fear of change, an aversion to anticipated conflict, or they worry that they will look stupid or incompetent. One functional leader at a company I advised was known and appreciated for his technical expertise, but he was also an extreme micromanager and treated employees with disdain, leading to high turnover in his department.

One solution is to double down on their strengths and minimize their managerial responsibilities or give them a purely technical team. This worked for the functional leader, who, with a much smaller team of fellow experts to manage, ran into fewer obstacles and generated less unhappiness among his subordinates and superiors. Some employees become oppositional when they feel insecure in a new role or with a significant change in their responsibilities.

Rather than providing behavioral coaching on their negative or inappropriate communication, at least initially, it can be more effective to focus on the quality of their knowledge or output, and only work on stylistic problems once the employee feels more familiar with the changes and expectations.

I once worked with a nonprofit executive with deep institutional memory who was extremely sensitive to criticism, and became fearful and resistant whenever a change was necessary, especially when new requirements were presented to her as fiats. This was particularly problematic because her position involved supporting new leaders, who cycled in and out of the job every two to three years, and she had to form new relationships with each one.

At one service firm where I consulted, a longtime department head expressed great negativity about the changes a succession of new bosses wanted to make. She became more willing to hear him out and to sign on to some of his new initiatives. Over time, he gave her more related responsibilities and opportunities to share her knowledge with other areas of the company. She continued to challenge some of his new directions but warmed up significantly as she saw that her subject matter expertise was being taken seriously.

Despite the success of his work product, when too many employees complained that they felt denigrated and that he was damaging the organizational culture, the executive leadership got involved and he was let go. Sometimes, the behavior of an oppositional employee is so damaging to their team or colleagues that the company cannot sustain it and must encourage them to move on.

But in many cases, after understanding their concerns and motivations, organizations can provide effective support to oppositional employees through job redesign and relationship building. Then employees who were once seen as problems can bring their greatest strengths to bear on behalf of the organization, rather than against it.

Whether in our personal or work lives, we likely have encountered difficult people. While some may seem to have mastered the skill of remaining calm in the midst of chaos, others seem to struggle in this area. When dealing with difficult individuals, it is important to maintain composure, assess the situation, and look for the most appropriate way to deal with it, then find the most reasonable resolution.

This article explores several tips on how to do so. I find that the Serenity Prayer has the power to get people through all types of situations. Dealing with difficult people seems to be no exception. Applied to this situation, the Serenity Prayer would look something like this. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change them , the courage to change the things that I can me , and the wisdom to know the difference. One of the keys to dealing with difficult people is learning to accept them where they are.

If we can have the insight to look at our part in the situation and the courage to make the necessary changes, we may find that it often is easier to deal with others. The same goes for drama. If you find that dealing with difficult people is not mostly personal but work-related, take the best approach and find out how you can make the experience the best for both you and your customer or client.

Sometimes you may need to take a step back and evaluate the situation. Choose your battles wisely. There will be times where you may want to pursue a conversation with the individual to try to reach a compromise. However, there also may be times where you resign to the fact that their perspective may not change.

I believe it is human nature to want to immediately respond when we feel challenged or attacked. When dealing with a difficult individual, our first instinct often is to immediately try to state our case or prove our point. A slight delay gives us the time to think before we speak.

It may also afford the difficult individual with the opportunity to reflect on what they are feeling. This technique can be applied to personal and work situations. In face-to-face communication, it may be beneficial to verbalize that a break is needed. However, in the world of modern technology, communication often takes place via emails, text messages, and social media. In these cases, think before you send and if possible, have someone else review what you have typed before sending.

I find this particular step helpful. I often try to pause to consider how or what the other person may be feeling and what their take on the situation may be. I have discovered that a little empathy goes a long way. This particular step shifts the focus from me to the individual I am dealing with. For example, I can recall encountering a client who showed up for her appointment two hours late and could not be seen.

She was very frustrated as she had arranged for child care and taken public transportation to get to the appointment on time. After listening to what it took for her to get to the appointment, I was able to compliment her on her initiative and willingness to go through great lengths to make it to her appointment. With the one positive comment, she immediately began de-escalating, took a new appointment and returned.

This is not an error-proof tip. This situation worked out well, but all may not end with the same result. However, it is my belief that when we can show some understanding and look at things from a perspective other than our own, it ends up being beneficial for both parties. This one is one of my favorites because it reminds me of my Southern roots and the wisdom of my grandmother. I believe the key is finding the right balance. Pouring on too much honey can actually have an adverse effect.

However, with just the right amount, this is the perfect de-escalating technique. Keeping this in mind not only keeps you calm, but often is calming to the other individual. When you are pleasant, it becomes very difficult for the other individual to remain escalated and frustrated. This tip can be accomplished not only with kind words, but also with a nice tone. When dealing with difficult individuals it is important to be able to empathize and understand, but also to be logical.

When we are able to think before reacting the results are often much more positive. Article By, Donna M. Firms have begun to recognize that leaders who avoid confrontation tend to put off difficult decisions and allow problems to fester, says Glaser.

They note that managers often fear giving honest feedback; as a result, they end up sugarcoating bad news or even avoiding performance evaluations altogether. Your discussion of the substance of a conflict — what each party perceives got them to this point — should be aimed at separating impact from intention. If one employee complains that another employee demeaned him, it is important to find out the intention of the person who is being accused. Emotions play a strong role in conflicts. Our deepest concerns about our identity often can be found at the root of our conflicts of others.

Such identity concerns include questions about whether we are competent, respected, and ethical. Consider whether the conflict might threaten how the disputants view themselves, then aim to help them maintain a positive self-image as you offer suggestions for improvement. To overcome our blind spots and move forward, we must consider the possibility that others have identified something about us that we ourselves cannot see.

Ask for clarification and patience as you work on learning more about your blind spots and trying to do better at conflict management. We think we are doing the right thing by staying quiet or being indirect when, in fact, clarity commands respect.

I shared the idea that clarity commands respect in a talk I recently gave about how to manage difficult conversations. The context for this specific tenet was the topic of boundaries: how to set boundaries and how to respect them. Setting boundaries starts with getting clear about what they are. It seems so obvious, right? And yet, we rarely pause to ask ourselves what our boundaries are. The list goes on.

When we choose to avoid rather than to engage in difficult conversations, we are not just doing ourselves a disservice but also the other person. The result? Nothing changes. Including the fact that your resentment continues to grow. And you sit there wondering how on earth she cannot know that her behaviour is unacceptable.

It can feel daunting to engage in difficult conversations. It can be tempting to bury our head in the sand and choose avoidance instead. My invitation today is to shift your perspective on difficult conversations and experiment with seeing them as essential interactions to nurture and strengthen any relationship, especially the ones that matter the most.

Article by, Julie Leitz. The key to managing difficult personalities is to become familiar with common behaviours and personality types. Once you understand why people act in a certain way, you can better understand how to work with them. High performing organisations readily embrace a culture of giving and receiving feedback — after all, it can take a village to onboard and develop teams, and a gentle reminder of expected behaviour never goes astray.

D-C personalities can be fast-acting, outgoing, bold and assertive. They like challenges but can get impatient, aggressive, demanding, challenging and power hungry. While D-Cs can be helpful when you need to make a tough decision, they can be motivated by getting people to do what they want, their way, which can make them difficult to work with and, when challenged — even mildly — they find it hard to manage their anger and aggression.

They continually make demands and dictate orders. It often feels demeaning and you can fear them, have an urge to fight them or dislike yourself for giving in to them. But if you approach them in the right way, things can work out. To work best with a dominant-controlling person, you need to think like one. Get to the point and stick to the topic — avoid small-talk or vague expressions.

Be brief, direct and respectful, back up your position with evidence and refuse to bend. These personalities are methodical, logical and detail-oriented. They like perfection but their focus on doing things the right way can come across as nit-picky. A-Os take pride in high standards and are systematic in their approach to problems and projects. These are not bad qualities but they can be inflexible, and stand in the way of innovation.

When they feel criticised, they avoid the issue, demonstrating their distaste of confrontation and argument. Firstly, acknowledge their work and their concerns without being critical or argumentative. Address their apprehensions then use logical language to map the path forward.

Expressive-impulsive people are enthusiastic, people-oriented, optimistic and social but can also be self-centred, reactive and charged up, seen as highly strung and pushy. They rarely think of consequences and refuse to take responsibility when things go wrong.

Wanting to be recognised for their work is a hallmark of E-I personality types but they concentrate solely on their own opinions and the big picture, and ignore inconvenient details. They can be hard to work with sometimes but there are strategies you can use.

Rather than trying to control them, make an effort to build a rapport. Let them know you appreciate their energy and ideas then give them tasks that require them to organise their ideas — challenging them to plan properly will be necessary to get them to focus.

Not only is it annoying when someone is always complaining, but worst of all their negative attitude impacts other people. They think nothing of bad mouthing decisions and blame factors other than themselves for the ills of the world. Focus on how they might do things differently to prevent them drifting into negativity. The goal of adapting your behaviour to different situations is not to change who you are, but to help you recognise your own role in difficult interactions.

Consider their approximate personality type and formulate an appropriate response without letting emotions get the better of you. In many cases, people are not aware of why their bosses are, well, bad, explained Marr. Among his top 10 signs and types of bad bosses:. But a boss that shows several of the 10 bad-boss types can be impossible to work with. Difficult people force us to fall back on our coping mechanisms. Some of us placate, others confront. Some balk, others become aggressive.

Among the three solutions Chopra suggested: just walk away. So when should you walk away from a difficult person in the office or otherwise? In HELP! We learn from them, although it can be painful learning. Then, be clear with the bad hire. But the key, Ryan explained, is to have the bad-fit employee leave without him feeling the need to badmouth you — or your company.

Luckily, there are ways to get your co-worker to be a little quieter without ruffling any feathers in the office. A difficult colleague may not be your enemy, but the more you know about them, the better you can understand them. TIP : Take the time to understand that your workplace antagonist is an imperfect person, just like you. No one escapes childhood without a few bruises and scrapes. TIP : Be responsive, not reactive when someone pushes your buttons.

Anger flares up when we feel that we, or another co-worker, have been unjustly treated by the difficult colleague. No matter where you work, there always seems to be at least one coworker who is difficult to deal with. Sometimes, that coworker even turns into a bully, and that can affect your job performance and self-esteem when all you want to do it get along and get the job done. If you let it go, you can end up losing your temper, and that could adversely affect you both personally and professionally.

However, there are some ways you can get along or defuse the situation to make life easier on the job. All work situations have difficult coworkers from health care jobs to sales jobs. It may be the office gossip, the one who never seems to be able to get the job done without help or the serial dodger, who never seems to take responsibility and blames everyone else for his or her shortcomings. Then there is the nasty coworker, who never has anything nice to say about you, no matter what.

With a workplace bully or backstabber, it may be necessary to confront the person instead of letting the behavior continue. Having a calm discussion about the problem may have a surprising response. Some people do not realize the adverse impact their statements and actions have on others and be genuinely surprised and taken aback. Try to talk reasonably and hold your temper, but let the person know that you will take the issue to a superior if the actions continue.

A little unbiased opinion is never harmful, so talking over your coworker situation with a friend can be a good idea.

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